It is a lot difficult to control and hold the mind in one place, concentrate on one thing for long enough but relatively easy and effective to ignore its unwise demands and not give in to distractions. If we want to tame our minds naturally and for good then we should follow later – learn to ignore and selectively non-cooperate.
Controlling the Mind vs. Selective Non-Cooperation
Controlling mind to do something is like meddling in other’s freedom and kind of micro-management. Furthermore, for most it is a constant struggle and sometimes acts as a hurdle in mind’s natural working and recovery from fatigue.
The key aspect to understand about the mind is that it follows what interests us; what we hold on to do in future or want to have for sure in life. Our mind follows whatever we consider important and valuable, whatever we approve of as promising and pleasurable.
So rather than holding mind responsible for life’s issues and improving its focus through practice and control, we should analyse our needs vs. wants, stop on whatever unnecessary we cooperate and create with mind. Without our nod, it cannot do anything. It creates junk and loses quality energy from such sleepy approvals and unconscious cooperation from us. And we cooperate with hope for pleasure, lazy time pass, or to avoid projected fears.
Solution, in summary, is simple:
- Either we got to change ourselves before we see the desirable changes in mind
- OR be enough alert to stop on sleepy approvals i.e. selectively non-cooperate whatever we find foolish and unnecessary.
Focus on changes at Centre and results appear on periphery
Little closer look at life reveals mind to be totally dependent on our moves done lazily or wide awake for seeking pleasure. So, in order to fix our issues we need to change at the centre, find and deal the underlying causes. Some simple tips:
- Regularly review & align interests and priorities based on wisdom and value.
- Live mindfully to catch unconscious choices at run time and eliminate them
- Align our purpose to expand ourselves and serve others too. More on purpose.
- We got to identify and fix our connections i.e. withdraw from parasitic ones and engage with what enriches us – be it a new habit, passion, mentor, close relative or friend, or recognise ever present belongingness to Existence itself.
- Stay firm and non-cooperative with mind whenever needed. Not-cooperating with what we should not is biggest help we can do to ourselves & collective psyche.
- Value conscious choices and continually learning:
- We do a lot in mind and tiny on the ground. So evaluate well and choose to do less but important. Do not add to much to the plate and crowding mind with lot of “still to do” and “should have been done” ones – that triggers parallel overthinking. All this stress us more, reduces the quality of work, lessens enjoyment of doing, and we keep hurrying through to finish up and reach end line. So, restrict your ability to add tasks keeping only less and really important one in focus.
- Keep editing your routine and commitments to make it lean and effective. Eliminate the unnecessary and schedule first the essential ones in productive hours.
- Learn meditation to relax and rest deeply in yourself, align to truth and protect freshness. Various surveys prove solitude as most needed habit for creativity. Meditations teaches us to be alone comfortably and enjoy aloneness.
- For complex or daunting tasks, split into doable chunks, and make an easy and urgent start.
- Reduce speed of doing by 10%. It helps in being aware and savoring life, enjoying daily chores, appreciating daily gifts from nature and close ones. Otherwise, we are slipping life in maddening hurry and mundane. Days, months, years are passing fast and there never seems enough in present. And so we keep running to future to wait for perfect times. If we miss life now then how can we stop and slowdown in future, the ever present now, as we will keep hankering and pushing through to next moment.
What stance we should take with Mind?
We should not confront our mind directly and forcefully. It is like a powerful child. We can set it FREE. If we want to be free then we should set it free. Normally, we are afraid of letting go of control and apprehensive of being driven crazy. But that is not the case if we allow freedom to mind and stay awake, rather, we feel less burdened leaving the mind to Nature, which cleanses and lightens it.
Only thing to take care is approve consciously and not-cooperate with not-OK ones. We come to realize our autonomy of approving thought to turn into action or let it die out in silence and indifference. This tames the mind naturally.
Benefits of changes @Center
- We gain control of mind but we actually don’t control mind or anyone else and thus, free us from controlling and ensuring mode. Less stressed, more space.
- Everyone feels better to be in free space and reflect back the love and happiness, ripples positivity and freedom into the environment.
- Losing control is also kind of being vulnerable and vulnerability is real seat of courage and from there we develop acceptance, defencelessness, which weakens the ego and promotes authenticity.
- We realize our discrete powers: whenever we agree and approve then only thought turns into good/bad action. So there is no need to beat the mind, it is simply an instrument. The onus lies on us for any mistakes or undesirable consequences. There has been a wrong trend to blame mind for our mistakes, we stop this useless trend. We do correct at the right place i.e. at the center in us and this invites accountability, simplicity and innocence.
- Improved self-learning – we also identify drivers behind our approvals – the greed of pleasures we seek through actions, things, and relations. Consequences teach us and strengthen our self-learning muscle, empowering us to stop at the root – not approving the unwanted thoughts turning into actions then later into habits and undesirable destiny.
Thus, we undergo fundamental and irreversible changes living mindfully and peacefully. This leads to true and responsible freedom. I am in progress on many of these behaviours, I keep slipping to old patterns, giving away poor approvals, and taking foolish resolutions only to fail in few days/weeks. My repeated failures in old ways and successes in new ways are creating strong belief in teachings of great masters.